Speechless

Speechless

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I’m rarely at a loss for words, but this chaos around the Coronavirus is too much right now. I continue to read your blogs, but commenting or writing is difficult for me.

I just can’t break this vicious circle of disturbing thoughts in my head.

Someday, Corona will affect somebody from our family, or friends… Who will fall ill, and how bad will it get? How long will Corona be part of our lives, and what will all of us have to sacrifice?

I know it would be good if I could stop my thoughts going round in circles, but it’s not that easy. Although my therapists are doing what they can, more than video calls isn’t possible right now. Maybe this trying time is even harder for those of us who are already dealing with mental problems. It’s not that I feel overly anxious, but the depression is really weighing me down. When the alarm goes off in the morning, I feel already tired. I have strange dreams (I take notes, because my therapist asks about them during our sessions). I can’t keep up with the chores, but I continue to look after my husband and the furbabies.

A few days ago, we brought toilet paper to our parents. We just left it at the doorstep and kept a distance. My mother had tears in her eyes because we couldn’t hug, and my heart broke for her. Modern technologies allow us to stay in touch, but watching each other on a screen is not the same than meeting in person.

Stay strong and healthy!

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Stockpiling light

Stockpiling light

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For a few weeks we were opposed to stockpiling. There’s enough for everyone, isn’t it?

Unfortunately some things are always already sold out after nine in the morning (yes, the famous toilet paper and non-perishable foods).

And after hearing the news this weekend, we weren’t sure how much public life will be restricted in the next weeks. So I found myself standing in a queue of people this morning in front of the local discounter. Everybody was very reasonable and bought only two packs of toilet paper (me too). I am sure there will be enough for everybody if everybody just buys what is needed for him/herself. I try to stick to that.

A few days before we realised we were low on antipyretics. Online the more expensive brands were still in stock, while generic ibuprofen was harder to get. I take metamizole for my back pain, which is also an antipyretic but can cause severe side effects as well. I wouldn’t give it to anybody else. So, we are prepared for quarantine or Corona infection. That’s the good thing.

But I have the uneasy feeling Corona is getting closer. Group therapy has been cancelled for two weeks, the gym is closed. My friend can’t visit her husband in the hospital, because a nurse got infected with Corona and there are no visitors allowed until further notice. She is working from home right now, because the wife of a colleague works in a doctor’s office where a patient has been tested positive. Another friend told us there are four confirmed Corona infections in her company. The employer of another friend allows working from home wherever possible (no Corona infections so far in this company). My sister-in-law works in a pharmacy, and of course we are worried for her. Our parents are at risk because of their age. This is just what is going on in our small bubble, and I am sure we are no exception.

So far I am worried, but not in panic. I hope it will stay this way. I know fear is a bad advisor, but sometimes this is easier said than done.

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