It’s time to look back on this year. Surprisingly, not everything was bad. The picture sums it up nicely: There are clouds in the sky, but you can see the sun is shining behind them and not everything is bleak.

The year started so well with our 25th wedding anniversary in January. We had a wonderful evining at the restaurant we celebrated our wedding in back in 1995. Looking back, we rembered many happy days.

In February, my husband turned 50. I’m so grateful he was able to celebrate with all of his family, this wouldn’t have been possible later in the year. Once more I was reminded of the fact that it still hurts that I didn’t become a mother, but I somehow got through this day.
We talked about Corona on this evening, but little did we know. Well, what can I say, we were very naive back then and thought this would pass quickly (insert diabolical laughter here). Sometimes it’s good not to know what the future holds.

Then Corona struck and everything changed. I spent days organising toilet paper, masks and flour… At first I felt completely overwhelmed, but later I found a way to deal with this “new normal”. This was a very important step, I learned that I’m stronger than I often give myself credit for. This realization had consequences:

First I stopped Occupational Therapy in September, later group therapy in November. I still keep in touch with the group therapist, but so far I don’t regret my decision and enjoy the free time. I’m still waiting for something to fill this time with, but for now it’s okay as it is. I’m still busy getting to know this new Me that doesn’t go to therapy. But so far I like this new Me, it goes through life with a mindful attitude and takes itself seriously without neglecting others. It sets boundaries, but it does so in a respectful way and has a big heart.
And speaking of therapy: This is the first year of many I didn’t have an inpatientent stay on the psychiatric ward. I have to admit I’m a little (well, maybe very) proud of that.

So far we and those close to our heart got through this difficult time alright. I’m very grateful for that, and I hope it stays this way.

This is my summary of 2020. It was a turbulent year, but also a time of personal growth. Note to self: Adverse conditions don’t mean you can’t succeed – this is the most important thing I learned this year.

I hope your review of 2020 isn’t too bad either!