Today Seasonal Affective Disorder teamed up with my depression. Great. I really could have done without that.
I really thought nothing nice would be happen today. Cloudy sky, temperatures at 5 degrees Celsius maximum, sleet and bitingly cold wind while I waited for the bus. A few minutes before arriving at my destination, it started hailing so hard that the streets were slippery for a short time – this is really fun when your gait is so unsteady that you use a walker. Then I put my foot in my mouth when I asked my podiatrist about her holidays. Since her husband died of cancer two years ago, she feels very lonely at this time of the year. Bought a few groceries and walked to the bus stop in icy rain. During the ride home I had to keep my walker from rolling through the bus. Got off the bus and was greeted by drizzle and gusts of cold wind. Stopped at the front door and fumbled in my backpack for the keys. Looked down to the right and saw – that the quince bush started to put forth buds!
Wow. I hope the worst of winter is over and the buds hold on until spring.
I really needed this today, a sign that spring will come. Maybe this will not happen tomorrow, but spring will come and I will be fine. The quince bush was given to us by my grandma-in-law, who really had a green thumb. Thank you, Cläre, you are still remembered.
The picture above shows the result of my last OT session. I have to admit, it took more time making the cookies than eating them. Oh well, Christmas is not the time to watch the figure, I think…
Finally winter solstice is here, meaning the days get longer. It will take a few weeks before this becomes really obvious, but I am relieved nonetheless. It doesn’t bother me that January is the coldest month. Waking up to bright light outside gives my depression-addled brain a boost like nothing else!
My gait is unsteady and I use a walker, so snow and icy roads are not my favourite weather conditions and I keep a close eye on the forecast. Yesterday evening I told my husband that my News-App issued a snow warning. He checked his weather App and said: “I don’t think so.” This morning I was greeted by 10 cm of fresh snow. Unfortunately I had been right. But everything went back to normal pretty quickly.
When I was a child, I loved snow. We lived on the outskirts north of Cologne near a park. Much room to roam around, many friends to play with, it was wonderful. There was a small hill, and this was where we all met in winter. Everybody brought a sleigh, and we stayed there in the cold for hours. We really romped about, but nothing really bad happened. I never went home before I was chilled to the bones. Then I changed into dry clothes and sat near the radiator to get warm. After that, I went out in the cold again. There was one day when school was cancelled due to bad weather, we were so happy: One more day we could spend outside in the snow.
As grown-ups we have to stick to a schedule and often miss the magic of Winter Wonderland. But when I look out of the window and see the snow-covered landscape, for a short moment the enchantment from decades ago is back.
It began snowing yesterday evening, resulting in icy roads. This morning about 20 cm of fresh snow had piled up. We would have enjoyed the weather by drinking hot cocoa or taking a walk, but we didn’t have time for that. My husband had to go to work unexpectedly and I was busy keeping the sidewalk in front of our house reasonably snow free. My back didn’t like this at all.
As far as our furbabies are concerned, the snow came up to Jackie‘s tummy, so she briefly sniffed the crisp air and has been staying in warm places ever since. Sam doesn’t care, and Janet loves it. We were really in for a big surprise the first winter she lived with us, watching this then so shy dog playing in the snow with abandon. Things haven’t changed, and it warms our hearts every time when we watch her racing around in the snow bright-eyed and happy.
In this part of Germany, winter is usually mild, rainy and ugly. So the pack gathers around the wood burner and enjoys the warmth. This is the first winter without our cat Sammy, who left for the Rainbow Bridge in September after eighteen years. I still feel the loss, she left behind an empty space in the pack that still needs to heal.