Up and down

Up and down

Right now, I am suffering from massive mood swings. Everything is alright one moment, and one second later everything is dark.

I am not able to cope with this, and neither are the people around me. This makes me feel like the worst person on earth, and I lose every hope things will get better.

I know I am not alone, but it feels like it. 

Friendly Fill-Ins Week 114

Friendly Fill-Ins Week 114

I again participate in the Friendly Fill-Ins, hosted by Four-Legged Furballs and 15andmeowing So here we go:

1. I tried  Progressive Muscle Relaxation last week and I liked it.

2. Am I the only one who likes how cats smell?

3. My mother is my hero/heroine.

4. If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life, it would be potatoes. They are very popular in Germany.

Letting go

Letting go

My aunt called me yesterday. Actually it’s her husband, my uncle, I am related to. He is my mother’s half-brother.

My grandfather was an alcoholic, and my mother and my uncle suffered a lot. While my mother has an active social life and tries to help others in her job, my uncle drew back completely. His wife manages everything where other people are concerned, even relatives. Contact is limited to very special occasions.

My uncle is very ill. His heart is slowly giving out, there are lots of fluids in his body.

My aunt invited us to a garden party. It is possibly the last time I see my uncle alive. This hurts, as did the long times without contact to my uncle’s family.

To rhyme with fun: That was none🤨

To rhyme with fun: That was none🤨

Today would have been my appointment at another hospital concerning inpatient treatment because of my depression / psychosomatic issues. 

When I got there, I was told the appointment had been postponed to next Wednesday. But somehow I wasn’t told about this. 

My energy level is always low, I had spent one and a half hour with getting there by public transport and was tired, it was hot…  I nearly started crying.

Good thing I was near my parents’ appartment, so I met with my father and we had a cup of coffee at a nearby cafe. I felt better afterwards.

I’ll try again last week.

Retirement plans

Retirement plans

Saturday we met with my parents at a greek restaurant to celebrate my mothers birthday.

She told us that she will retire next year in September.

Finally. I can understand that my mother likes to work. She was a stay-at-home-mom for a long time and started working very late in life. On the other hand, I don’t understand why she doesn’t spend more time with my father, as long they are both fit and healthy.

Years ago, I didn’t like about my mother that she wouldn’t leave me alone when she didn’t like my decisions. Now I know it’s not that simple, but I think I am doing a good job here. I told her once what I am thinking, and now I support her whatever she is doing.

Ten Things of Thankful, Week 28/2018

Ten Things of Thankful, Week 28/2018

So I proudly join the TToT-community again. Let’s see what I can contribute:

  • When I rode the bus last week, it was full. A very nice woman offered to take care of my walker, so I could take a safe seat a few meters away.
  • Riding the bus another time, I talked to another woman with a walker. We both felt better after chatting.
  • My parents had a wonderful holiday. I am glad for them.
  • My mother made the decision to retire in autumn next year. A very wise decision, and one that was overdue.
  • We celebrated my mother’s 64th Birthday yesterday. It was such a nice evening, and my mother loved our present.
  • We had wonderful walks with our dogs. With every walk I get fitter, that’s the way I see it.
  • My therapist did everything he could so I can get good impatient treatment for my problems.
  • The vet said our cat is healthy! We liked to hear that, she is a loved member of our pack.
  • The weather was still sunny and warm, that always helps with my mood.
  • I had a few good talks with my husband. That helped to bring us on the same page.