Feline Friday #93| Friendly Fill-Ins

Feline Friday #93| Friendly Fill-Ins


 

It’s time for Feline Friday, hosted by Sandee from Comedy Plus!

Sometimes Jackie doesn’t approve of her staff. We are to slow… We don’t get what she wants, because we can’t read her mind… We don’t give her more treats… We don’t have the time for a snuggle session NOW… The list is endless! So often she gives us THE LOOK!

Jackie runs a tight ship. And yes, we spoil her rotten. I’m sure she has a good life with us. Something she never lacks is love.

Friendly Fill-Ins

I again participate in the Friendly Fill-Ins, hosted by Four-LeggedFurballs and 15andmeowing. So here we go:

1. Love is a mystery I would love to know the answer to. I’m lucky and surrounded by lots of love, but there are so many things I can’t explain. But maybe some things are not meant to be explained.

2. The Canary Islands is the farthest I have ever been from home. It’s about 3.700 km/2.300 miles from my home. I admit it, I’m more of a homebody.

3. I’ve lost count of how many times I have been looking for my mobile phone. I really should find a permanent place for it.

4. I can feel the sun getting stronger, it reminds me of spring.

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Thankful Thursday #57

Thankful Thursday #57

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop

The Thankful Thursday Blog Hop is hosted by Brian from Brian’s Home. He encourages us to say what we are thankful for today.

Today I’m thankful for the friendly people that were at the supermarket today.

I was grocery shopping this afternoon. In the produce aisle a man asked me to hand him a pack of chicory. He was sitting in a wheelchair and couldn’t reach it. I said: “Sure. Do you want a pack with three or four?” He answered it didn’t matter, but I took a close look and made sure he got good quality chicory. He thanked me, and we went our seperate ways.

I decided to keep an eye on him from a distance, in case he needed more help. But after a short while I realised I wasn’t needed anymore. Everybody the man in the wheelchair asked for help did as he was asked, and everybody responded in such a friendly and compassionate manner.

It made me happy to watch this. These days I see so much tension and dispute – sometimes even hate. But today I saw so many people who were willing to help a stranger in need. It warmed my heart.

Sometimes it’s about the little things, and all I needed to do today was reach out and hand somebody a pack of chicory. I hope this lesson will stay with me.

Have a wonderful Thursday!

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Feline Friday #92| Friendly Fill-Ins

Feline Friday #92| Friendly Fill-Ins

It’s time for Feline Friday, hosted by Sandee from Comedy Plus!

When we bought the new sofa a year ago, Jackie didn’t like it. It took some weeks before she accepted it, and when she joined us, she had very strict rules concerning the dogs and us humans watching TV or using mobile devices. 

Well, she still makes it clear there is nothing more important than her when and if she wants a cuddling session, but she became more relaxed around her doggy companions. It’s very rare she hisses at them. She just does what she wants to do, and mostly the dogs don’t even bat an eye. I think the furbabies respect each other, and they know there is enough space and love for all of them. We humans couldn’t ask for more, and we enjoy our time together on the sofa so much. It’s a wonderful feeling being surrounded by so much peace and love. 

Friendly Fill-Ins

I again participate in the Friendly Fill-Ins, hosted by Four-LeggedFurballs and 15andmeowing. So here we go:

1. I learned perseverance the hard way. I’m not a very patient person, but sometimes the only way out of a difficult time is keeping it together and battling through. I hope I never forget this lesson.

2. Everyone should love an animal at least once in their lives. The bond that can form between humans and animals is magic, and the love animals can give us is very special.
 
3. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what our life will be like after the Corona pandemic. I’m sure some things have changed forever. 
 
4. I’ll never be too old to “oh” and “ah” over furbabies! I will never outgrow this, or at least I hope so.
 
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Thankful Thursday #56

Thankful Thursday #56

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop

The Thankful Thursday Blog Hop is hosted by Brian from Brian’s Home. He encourages us to say what we are thankful for today.

Today I’m thankful my husband is feeling better. Last weekend he became ill – some nasty stomach bug. He was lucky and could be seen by his doctor on Monday. The doctor put him on sick leave for this week, because this shouldn’t be passed on to colleagues… Well, I agree… It wasn’t pretty.

I didn’t get it, and that’s another thing I’m thankful for. I could keep everything going and take care of hubby. He literally felt like s*it for a few days, but now he is able to go for short walks again. We hope he will be back to normal next week.

Have a wonderful Thursday!

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Back and forth

Back and forth

I hope you had a good start into 2021. NYE was quiet here, and the furbabies enjoyed that there were less fireworks.

Right now my thoughts are constantly jumping from past to present to future and vice versa. Mostly I’m just watching, I know this will stop and I will finally arrive in the present time again. But sometimes I have to be mindful when the demons from the past rear their ugly heads.

Again and again my thoughts stop at a very bad time twelve years ago. I was really in a dark place back then, I suffered from debilating panic attacks and had the impression no doctor really wanted to help me. My GP told me there was nothing he could do for me. The first neurologist/psychiatrist handed me a prescription, told me just to get back to work and forbade me to go to the outpatient clinic at the local hospital. I called him several times, I was really desperate, the med made me feel even worse and I had definitely reached my breaking point. He didn’t budge, I felt misunderstood and left alone for weeks.

Finally I did what he had told me not to do and went to the outpatient clinic at the local hospital. More than once. But eventually I was put on the waiting list for inpatient treatment, and I was put on sick leave until then. That was a big relief, even if it didn’t help with the panic attacks per se.

My boss started pressuring me about when I would come back to work. I told him that I couldn’t answer that question, because I was still waiting for my treatment in the hospital. He didn’t accept that and kept asking.

Looking back the worst was the feeling of forlornness. The doctor, who stuck to his routine. The boss who wouldn’t stop calling me and only cared about work, but not about me. When I needed understanding and protectetion the most, my doctor and my boss didn’t seem to care. These weeks were hard.

I found my way out. I limited communication to my employer as much as I could, I found doctors who helped me. I learned to stand up for myself when I was at my worst.

I try to figure out why I am thinking about this so often now. Maybe it’s about making another step forwards on my journey and leave the past behind again.

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2020

2020

It’s time to look back on this year. Surprisingly, not everything was bad. The picture sums it up nicely: There are clouds in the sky, but you can see the sun is shining behind them and not everything is bleak.

The year started so well with our 25th wedding anniversary in January. We had a wonderful evining at the restaurant we celebrated our wedding in back in 1995. Looking back, we rembered many happy days.

In February, my husband turned 50. I’m so grateful he was able to celebrate with all of his family, this wouldn’t have been possible later in the year. Once more I was reminded of the fact that it still hurts that I didn’t become a mother, but I somehow got through this day.
We talked about Corona on this evening, but little did we know. Well, what can I say, we were very naive back then and thought this would pass quickly (insert diabolical laughter here). Sometimes it’s good not to know what the future holds.

Then Corona struck and everything changed. I spent days organising toilet paper, masks and flour… At first I felt completely overwhelmed, but later I found a way to deal with this “new normal”. This was a very important step, I learned that I’m stronger than I often give myself credit for. This realization had consequences:

First I stopped Occupational Therapy in September, later group therapy in November. I still keep in touch with the group therapist, but so far I don’t regret my decision and enjoy the free time. I’m still waiting for something to fill this time with, but for now it’s okay as it is. I’m still busy getting to know this new Me that doesn’t go to therapy. But so far I like this new Me, it goes through life with a mindful attitude and takes itself seriously without neglecting others. It sets boundaries, but it does so in a respectful way and has a big heart.
And speaking of therapy: This is the first year of many I didn’t have an inpatientent stay on the psychiatric ward. I have to admit I’m a little (well, maybe very) proud of that.

So far we and those close to our heart got through this difficult time alright. I’m very grateful for that, and I hope it stays this way.

This is my summary of 2020. It was a turbulent year, but also a time of personal growth. Note to self: Adverse conditions don’t mean you can’t succeed – this is the most important thing I learned this year.

I hope your review of 2020 isn’t too bad either!

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Thankful Thursday #55

Thankful Thursday #55

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop

The Thankful Thursday Blog Hop is hosted by Brian from Brian’s Home. He encourages us to say what we are thankful for today.

Today I’m thankful for all of you wonderful bloggers who made this difficult time a lot easier to bear. I can’t tell you how often one of your comments or posts made my day!

I wish you a Happy Holiday, it doesn’t matter if you celebrate Christmas or not, all of us can use a well-earned break. We will at least be able to see a few familiy members, and for that I’m grateful as well.

Have a wonderful Thankful Thursday!

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Feline Friday #91| Friendly Fill-Ins

Feline Friday #91| Friendly Fill-Ins

It’s time for Feline Friday, hosted by Sandee from Comedy Plus!

This morning, while enjoying some girl time with Jackie, I realised once more how much our furbabies are able to stay in the moment. As she laid there in a warm and safe place with a full belly, purring from time to time and dozing contentedly, clearly everything was alright in her world. She has forgotten the last hard weeks and is back to her usual happy self.

I’m a human and my world is more complicated than hers, but sometimes this serenity is contagious. I have a tendency to overthink everything, but Jackie always can calm me down. I think many people can say the same about their animal companions. We really should listen to them.

Friendly Fill-Ins

I again participate in the Friendly Fill-Ins, hosted by Four-LeggedFurballs and 15andmeowing. So here we go:

1. My favorite Christmas (or Hanukkah) tradition is spending time with family. Sometimes my parents also invite friends who would have spend Christmas alone, and this is always fun.

2. This holiday season I will miss having a big party with my husband’s great family. But so much is different this year, we will find our way.
 
3. I would like Santa to bring love, peace and the means to end this Corona pandemic for the whole world.
 
4. You might find nothing under my Christmas tree this year. That’s because we don’t have a Christmas tree, we don’t trust our furbabies with it!
 
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Thankful Thursday #54

Thankful Thursday #54

Thankful Thursday Blog Hop

The Thankful Thursday Blog Hop is hosted by Brian from Brian’s Home. He encourages us to say what we are thankful for today.

Today I’m thankful that we have been able to keep the periodontitis in check so far. Things would have been bad if it had come back so early. I had my teeth cleaned this week, and the staff at the dentist’s office said the gums look alright. I feel not everything has healed by now, but recovering from periodontitis is a long process, so I’m ok with this.

Have a wonderful Thankful Thursday!

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To do or not to do…

To do or not to do…

Sometimes I can be a little bit dense and the penny really takes its time to drop. But better  late than never!

During my inpatient stay 2018, we had this really great art therapist. He was spot on all the time.

Once he said to a fellow patient: ” You are responsible for everything you DO, and for everything you DO NOT DO.”

This stuck with me. I realised I tried to get away with a lot of things, that I was very quick in finding an explaniation or an excuse. 

This has really changed, and it feels good to hold myself accountable. Sometimes I’m too good at this, because I often try to explain the behavior and mistakes of others with what I did or didn’t do.

A few days ago, I finally understood the other side of this coin. Yes, I’m responsible for everything I do or do not do. But the others are responsible for everything they do or do not do as well. This was very liberating realization. 

An example: There was a birthday in the family, I sent a text message. I could see the message had been read, but I didn’t get an answer. This would have really driven me nuts, I would have spend hours asking myself what I’d done wrong. This time I just mentally shrugged my shoulders – it was out of my hands anyway, and the other person had to decide for herself what she was doing or not doing. Handing responsibility over to those who really have to carry it.

By the way: Everything is fine, I got an response, just a few days later, and we had a nice chat. The important thing is I found a good way to deal with this situation. I will not stop holding myself accountable for my actions, but I will be mindful to bear just my part of responsibility.

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