New Beginnings

New Beginnings

I have spent the last weeks contemplating if and how I will continue group therapy. It wasn’t an easy decision, therapy places are rare, and it will affect my future. 

Eventually I terminated therapy. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision, I talked it through with group and the therapist several times. There were many things to consider after all.

This process started months ago when I made a similar decision about ending OT. On one hand I’ve been in therapy for so long I almost can’t remember life without it. On the other hand I’m at a point where I am  tired of therapy and not able to take it in any more. This became very obvious when there was a longer break, and I didn’t miss a thing. In the last group meeting there was a new patient, she was so full of emotions and energy. I’m lacking both. 

I don’t think I am miraculously cured, and I’m very aware of the fact my problems won’t just disappear. But I won’t do therapy half-hearted. This doesn’t help me, and there are others who are more motivated and waiting for a therapy place.

I am very thankful for everything I learned in therapy, and for all the wonderful people who helped me. But sometimes it’s time to walk a different path. So here’s to new beginnings.

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26 thoughts on “New Beginnings

  1. Thank you for sharing! I agree sometimes it’s better to take a step away rather than doing something half-hearted. Keep going you are doing great❤️x

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  2. I am delighted for you.
    You made the right decision with the OT and there has been enough time now to confirm this. You will grow in confidence taking your own mental health and well-being into your own hands and therapy will come in other ways. Be secure in the knowledge that help is there if and when you need it

    Good luck my friend 🧡

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  3. To new beginnings 🙏

    It’s not a decision you would have taken lightly and it’s not always easy either to do the things we feel we want or need to do. Like you, I’d probably call it a day if I’ve reached the point of not gaining anything else from therapy or finding my heart’s not really in it. I love that you can see the goodness from your experiences with it despite that though, and absolutely there are other avenues to explore should you wish, and that door will always be open in future too. Sendings hugs, take good care of yourself lovely.

    Caz xx

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    1. It really was a tough decision, but going on like this made me feel bad. I’m really thankful and learned a lot, but it’s time to move on now. Like you say (my therapist pointed that out as well), therapy is always an option in the future.
      Stay safe xo

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  4. It’s good to see you blogging again. I was wondering because I remember you said you were going to blog less and then there was a long break, but I didn’t dare ask if you were okay, because I didn’t want to be encroaching. Which I did not intend to be, I was just worrying.

    It’s good to read Sam is better and it’s good you are trying a new path. Maybe it is what you need right now to grow and if after a while you find out that it isn’t maybe you can go back

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      1. Well, it’s a matter of perspective. If it was just my perspective I would say way better than last year this time, because a lot of things are better than what was going on last year this time. A lot of people would say they’d prefer the harassment, they’d take the encroaching behaviour, they’d take the rumours and even eventually being driven to terminating their blog account over the mental load of schooling the kid (and between three and five others), managing my mother (who as you maybe remember needs a lot of supervision) from afar and teaching my brother how to swallow post-covid via messengers. For me, compared to the pressure of last year this time, this is almost relaxing, because I don’t have to function and I don’t have to watch what I say for fear of being threatened again. The only people I know in person in the city I live are the assistants and the kid’s family (because I always worked elsewhere and hence had my social circles elsewhere, too, as it is quite normal for many disabled persons) and I still see all of them, so I don’t feel isolated plus I meet most of my social circle online. We had parties for the birthdays online, we’ve got zumba dance online, we play cards online, the support groups meet online, some things I could never attend in person have finally become accessible for me, so there’s lots of social interaction. Even more than before the pandemic, sometimes even too much for me and I end up wishing for a day off or something.

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      2. Like you say, not everything is bad. I enjoyed having online therapy sessions. Being able to stay in my safe place at home and not having to travel enabled me to work even harder. I really hope some of this will stay with us even post Covid.
        I hope your brother is better now.

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      3. Let’s put it that way, fortunately my brother wasn’t affected very severly from the beginning. That is, he didn’t need to go to the hospital and while he was acutely sick it seems he didn’t feel any worse than with the yearly sinusitis (that’s why he went to the doctor and got tested in the first place). It only got bad for him after he was no longer pronounced sick, then he started to have trouble swallowing and feel weak. He is a very impatient person so he couldn’t handle this very well, which is probably at least in part responsible for the fact that he is not yet as fit as he used to be.

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      4. Covid can be tricky. I hope these lingering symptoms will go away soon.
        My friend’s husband got Covid while being treated for kidney stones in the hospital. So far it seems he’ll make a full recovery, but not everybody can cope with two weeks of 39° fever.

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      5. My best friend had it in June/July and contracted it while she worked at the Swedish border. Then she didn’t know she had it, it was only found out way later when she had problems with fatigue and vertigo at work. She is okay now, but it’s been six months, so that’s what I told my brother he’s got to calculate with. It rather upsets him, because, you know, it’s “unmännlich”. On the other hand if he takes it slow and is compliant I think he might be compeletely well in January/February, but it depends on him. You know masks are “unmännlich un nich alpha”, too… I’m so glad my mother and stepfather who live in the flat with him didn’t get it, too, while he was ill. Especially for my mother with all her organ-damage due the the medication abuse it could have been very risky. We even got her to wear masks now (at first she wouldn’t either).

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      6. ” Unmännlich un nich alpha”, of course *eye roll*. What a relief your mother and stepfather are ok. It’s really hard when infected and not infected people live together, but my friend, her Covid positive husband and their daughter got through this as well.

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