Under my skin, part 3

Under my skin, part 3


Right now I’m quite busy reorganising my life and blogging less, but that’s for another post. Before I come to this, I want to finish this mini-series.

There’s one point I often think about. Why I am still alive when so many wonderful people are dying or have already died of cancer? Why the young mother of two, or the autor who had so much left to say, and not me? We cancer survivors have to bury those who don’t make it. That’s often hard for me, especially in times when depression strikes.

This is closely linked to the question: What is the meaning of my life? I know cancer can ask this question very loud and unmistakably. Sometimes cancer forces life to change, sometimes it makes people realize they live the life they never wanted. And sometimes it makes people realize their life is wonderful as it is. All of this has its merits. For me, it was something in between, I changed some little things, but nothing major.

Cancer is often painted as black or white, life or death. But it’s not so simple, sometimes cancer adds a lot of colours to life.

I want to give cancer the room in my life it deserves, but nothing more. Keeping this balance is sometimes easy and sometimes hard. What I want to say is: Life doesn’t stop with a cancer diagnosis. I am thankful for all the great people who helped me learn this lesson.


13 thoughts on “Under my skin, part 3

  1. I’ve known some that things changed and others not so much. We each approach things/issues the way we choose. That’s the beauty of life.

    Have a blessed day, Viola. ♥


  2. I am a 20 year survivor. When I was in the hospital after surgery I was walking the hallways pushig my poles with bags attached.A Father and daughter came out of another room. The daughter , about 10 years old, was crying. “why doesn’t he get better?” She said. ” He’s very ill.” the Dad said. I looked into the room and say a young boy maybe five or six years old. I remember thinking that he should have his whole life still ahead.I thought that at 50 I’d already had a full life. I could go on and that would be ok. But here I am 20 years later still going Cancer is such a BIG diagnosis. Recovery from cancer is BIG also. I am sure that struggling with depression is an added layer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so hard to see children suffer. And I think it’s important to keep in mind the mental aspects of recovery as well, but this is often neglected. Depression can be a part of living with cancer, but luckily it’s not a must.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am so proud of you for coming to terms with cancer as much as you have. It is not an easy road for anyone to walk, and each person handles it a little differently. I think depression is almost a natural part of the process. I see you making great strides in the last couple years, and you are living your life again, that’s the important thing! ♥️💜

    Liked by 1 person

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