…are most affected by my depression.
When I stopped working, I quickly recognized how much I missed being together with my colleagues. This was not about deep conversations, but very mundane things – those little snippets of life we shared, like “Are you feeling better?”, “How is your move from A to B going?”, “What about the software problems?” Every day I was part of a community. This stopped suddenly.
Aside from that, not many friendships withstand long, chronic illness. Surely I became a different person through the years as well: Weary, tired and sometimes just sad or cynic. Sometimes I have to postpone or cancel meetings at short notice, or I can’t chat on the phone for hours. I can’t go to hobbies on a regular basis and maybe meet people there.
And if it comes to a meeting, what can I tell about my life? What Sam did on our last walk, how the last OT session went? That can be very uninteresting for people about my age, whose life is full of work and/or family. I can listen, but not tell about similiar experiences. Same goes for my conversation partner. This requires tolerance from both sides.
Result: Not many relationships survived the drastic turn my life took five years ago. On the other hand new people came into my life as well through our engagement in animal protection and my OT groups. These relationships are very different from the old ones, because those people don’t know the old me. I also profit from my husband who is a stable link to the normal world. So I am lucky – it didn’t happen to me what happens to many people in my situation, who kind of lose touch with the outside world. So I may miss the former relationships, but I am still well off.