Depri-versary

Depri-versary

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Spring always is the anniversary of my psychiatric inpatient treatments. Mostly my mood got worse during winter, so many of my inpatient admissions happend in spring.

This spring means, my first inpatient treatment in child and adolescent psyciatry was 31 years ago, and my first inpatient stay as an adult happened 10 years ago.

What upsets me most today is the fact, that I was always told I would be fine again. Of course I believed this and worked hard. And I always was better for a few months, but then things always took a turn for the worse again.

Yesterday my OT therapist said, there must be people who found a way out of depression even after such a long time. She meant well, but I want to be realistic. I don’t expect to be cured from depression anymore. I just want to live my life as it is, the good and the bad times and all.

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, but other people often think it is. For me acceptance means to live according to my possibilities, and to stay on the golden middle course most of the time.

On the other hand, these anniversaries are a reason to give myself a pat on the shoulder, because I am still alive and kicking. This coin has two sides, as always.

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13 thoughts on “Depri-versary

  1. Knowing what the issues are is the first step in managing them. If you don’t know it’s hard to know what steps to take. You have a great toolbox full of management tools.

    Have a fabulous day. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Actively managing instead of just enduring is a very important part in living with a chronic illness in my opinion. And I am very lucky to have so many compassionate people in my life who help me to a full toolbox!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it’s a time to give yourself a pat on the back, too, even if it’s bittersweet. I think acceptance is a really hard one with mental and/or physical illness. It’s not giving up, I agree. It’s adjusting, acknowledging what you can change and what you can’t, learning to managing things as best you can and still live the best life you can while working around the issues you face.. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly, it’s all about “living the best life”. In this regard chronically I’ll people want the same as healthy people, but of course your life it’s different when you have so many issues to work around. xx

      Liked by 1 person

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