The demon self-hatred

The demon self-hatred


While I am accompanied by many demons when I am outside, there is only one of them with me when I am inside. But this is the worst one: Self-hatred.

He is very persistent, and he knows how he can torture me the best. He follows me around all day long, and often at night as well.

Today in therapy we tried visualisation. I was told to imagine the demon in my head and to talk to him. I realized that there are things I like I like about this demon as well. He is absolutely reliable, he doesn’t change his rules. But I also think he judges me to harshly. My life wasn’t always like this, and I was able to keep up with the “normal world” for nearly four decades, despite my psychological and physical issues.

I was told to push the demon away from me, and at the end of the session he wasn’t black anymore, rather grey.

That doesn’t change the fact that I still suffer from this demon. But maybe I have a say in some things!



17 thoughts on “The demon self-hatred

  1. Confronting our demons is the first step in dispelling them. We do have a say in how things are, and we don’t have to listen to the negative voices that try so hard to defeat what we know deep down is ok about ourselves! I love the work you are doing to make your life bett

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Viola. I just read your post and I can understand how you feel. Self hatred is something that I believe many people experience. For some people, it is how they look that drags them into self-hatred, for others, it is their experiences in life that causes their self-hatred. Sometimes when we compare ourselves to others, or when we notice only the bad things about ourselves, we can begin to hate ourselves.

    I would like for you to take a step back and reflect on the other demons in your life. Self-hatred does not come alone, it usually comes hand in hand with other things that need to be fixed. Take note of all of those things. I am somewhat certain that you will find that the causes of these things are worldly. The world can be a hard place, but with the spirit of God we have the power to overcome the world. When we begin a walk with God, we learn from the word of God how to live in the world without letting the things of the world weigh us down. We also receive the gift of the holy spirit that takes our minds off negative feelings and replaces them with positive and Godly feelings.

    Concerning the holy spirit, the bible says in Galatians 5: 22-23
    “22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”

    I would suggest that you try a relationship with God. God can make your journey to healing a lot easier.

    Say this prayer with me: “Father Lord, I thank you. I thank you for everything that you have done for me and all the blessings you have put into my life. I praise your holy name and I worship you. Lord help me to love myself. Lord help me to understand the true beauty of my existence. Lord have mercy on me and replace my feelings of self-hatred with self-love. I trust in your power and I know that nothing is impossible with you. I pray that you help me, In Jesus name, Amen”.

    If you wish to start a relationship with God (if you do not already have one), here are the steps that I usually recommend:

    1) find a quiet space free from distractions, a place where you can pray.

    2) imagine that Jesus is in front of you, talk to him the way you will with a close friend. Tell him that you are ready to accept him, invite him to come into your life and become your lord and personal savior. Ask for forgiveness of past sins. Tell Jesus that you want to die to your old self and be reborn as a new creation in him. Pray that you inherit eternal life and the kingdom of God. Beware of sudden distractions when you pray, this is a trick the devil uses to stop us from having focused prayers. You might also get the feeling that God is not there or that you are simply wasting your time, this is another trick that the devil uses to discourage us from prayers.

    3) If you have any specific prayers, or something specific that you need, you can ask it in Jesus name, and God would attend to the prayers. God usually has three answers to prayers: Yes, Yes but wait, and No. God has a reason for every answer, and his answers are usually what is best for you. When you pray, you need to have faith that you will receive. God does not like it when we pray but doubt his ability to provide what we want for us. Lastly, prayers and faith without works wont bring results. E.g. If all a person does is prays and has faith that they would get a job, without actually applying to jobs, they WOULD NOT get a job. God does not work that way, God loves hard-working people, and God rewards hard-work. If all Christians had to do is pray, have faith, and stay home all day awaiting a blessing, Christians would be the laziest people on earth. LOL. Your part is to pray that God should fast-track your success, so that you recieve your blessings quicker than people who are relying on their own strength. Your blessings might also come in a bigger way. Remember to thank God when you get the answers to your prayers.

    4) Read the bible and obey it. You can find free bibles online. You can also find free bible apps on google play. Keep praying all the time and maintain a connection with God.

    5) Trials and tribulations may come your way, sometimes these are designed to test your faith, and sometimes they are simply tricks from the devil to get you to denounce the religion. At times like this, you pray to God, you fast, and you maintain consistency in the faith, this way, God would lift you above all trials and afflictions.

    6) You can join a community of bible believing Christians. Having friends who are believers would keep you on track, and the conversations about the religion would be beneficial to your faith.

    7) Get a water baptism, and pray to God so that you can receive a baptism in the holy spirit.

    Have a blessed day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your long answer. You really set some things straight and provided answers I needed. God really works in wonderful ways! Once more Thank You, you helped me so much! Have a blessed time!

      Liked by 1 person

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