Honesty is the best policy

Honesty is the best policy

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One of the most important things I learned in therapy is being honest. To myself, and to others.

To make life easier for others and for me I often used white lies. When somebody said things like “What about doing xxx sometimes”, my answer would be “yes “.

Sometimes I would get away with it, sometimes not. And then things would become ugly. „You said, you would go with us?!“ Disappointment and a bad atmosphere would follow those discussions. Not to forget the bad feeling I had from the first discussion until this moment.

Honesty does not prevent me from diappointment or a bad mood, but the atmosphere stays clear. But honesty shows I am taking the other – and myself – seriously.

This week was an example how I have changed, and I was a little bit proud how I handled things. On Christmas the In-Laws suggested we have a good time together instead of buying presents. I pointed out immedeately that I don’t plan so far ahead in my present condition, and that there is the possibility I can’t join them. When things got real this week I made it clear from the beginning I won’t go.

My MIL is a little pissed at me, she likes family time. I can live with this.

My husband understands my reasons, but he is sad I don’t go with them. That’s awful. But I am the only one responsible for my mental health. And if I am stressed and overstrained, no one is happy.

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11 thoughts on “Honesty is the best policy

  1. This topic is one I can easily relate to. It is hard to disappoint people so we tend to postpone saying no. But we do have the right to do what’s best for us, to choose what we enjoy and avoid what makes us miserable. Last night I had to tell Papa Bear that I no, I wasn’t planning to join him for a family event as his lodge this coming Saturday night. He was a little disappointed but not surprised, he knows how uncomfortable I feel there, the women are a very cliquey bunch. In the past I would do things just to please others, and then be so anxious and unhappy, but like you I’ve decided that it’s best just to be honest up front and deal with those consequences. I am what I am and I’m ok with that! 🙂 XO

    Liked by 1 person

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