When even your doctor doesn’t know why

When even your doctor doesn’t know why

In response to  The Daily Post  : Inkling

It was the day after I had surgery on my left leg to beat melanoma. A wide excision of the tumor and a sentinel lymph note biopsy had been performed. The surgeon came to me and we talked. First he told me that everything went according to plan, and that he was very sure that nothing of the melanoma was left. So I didn’t need further treatments like chemotherapy or radiation for now. He had a look at the incision and said, that it was healing well. But I still had questions.

“Do you have any idea how long ago the melanoma started to grow?” I asked. He hesistated and replied: “It’s difficult to say, but my guess would be about a year.”

I nodded. Everything made sense now. The tiredness, the ear infection that didn’t heal.

He went on: “We found dead cells in the tumor, that means your body started attacking it.”

I let this sink in for a while. My body had been fighting cancer all the time. But there was one more thing I wanted to know. I rarely got sunburnt in my childhood, I do not have many birthmarks or freckles, we rarely had been to southern Europe in the summer, I used sunscreen, so…

“Why did this happen?” I asked.

“I don’t have an inkling.” he answered, got up and left.


8 thoughts on “When even your doctor doesn’t know why

  1. Wow, that must’ve hurt. I mean, you were doing well after surgery, all things considered, but you would want to know why it happened. A doctor just saying “NO idea” then walking away, is so blunt.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. When these things happen, your brain goes into a kind of survival modus, and you deal with it because there is no choice. This happened 18 years ago, but it is still present in my mind.


  2. I did not know that you are a cancer survivor, there are so many things I have yet to learn about you! This gives me an understanding of how strong and courageous you are, it sounds like you have had to deal with many things in your life and yet here you are, still going ahead each day with positive hope and doing your best. I love survivors, they are stronger than they even knew! XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many things indeed… I sometimes wonder myself what I packed into these nearly 47 years 🙂 I am in awe too whenever I meet a survivor. These stories need to be told more often, because the hard part comes when therapy is over. I will surely write more about this in May, because this is Melanoma Awareness Month.

      Liked by 1 person

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