First things first…

First things first…

English is not my first language, so please be patient with me and forgive my mistakes. I love the english language and follow english blogs from all over the world, the purpose of this blog is to keep in touch with non-german bloggers. Constructive criticism and feedback are always welcome of course!

Thanks for stopping by,


When one thing leads to another

When one thing leads to another

This is what I am currently working on in our group OT-sessions. The outlines of the flowers where already printed on the canvas, but it is a lot of fine work and takes a lot of concentration. It also takes longer than I thought.

My single OT sessions will come to an end in the next weeks. So it’s a good thing that our therapist had some training last week, and wants to start  relaxation group therapy. Her goal is to provide her clients with exercises they can use in their everyday life.

That’s exactly my problem. During my therapies I was taught lots of good exercises, but most of them couldn’t be done in public in stressful situations. So this could really help me. We will see if enough clients want to come, so a group can be formed.

Anyway, it is a good thing when something new comes my way.

Addendum to charity event

Addendum to charity event

On the shelter’s summer charity event was a visitor who was clearly grown up, but behaved like a boy. No big deal, until he started crying, stamping on the ground and biting his hand.

I felt so sorry for him, but I didn’t know if and how I could help him. And we had our hands full with the dogs, who reacted to the different atmosphere and barked wildly. Not only Janet and Sam were barking, other dogs also were very irritated .

I said to my husband: “He surely isn’t here alone”, and he agreed. From the crowd emerged to women, who took care of the man. They didn’t touch him, they just talked to him, and soon everything was back to normal.

It hurts me to see somebody in such a helpless, agitated state. I know how awful it is from my own experience.

May always somebody near us who can help. Sometimes we can’t snap out of it by ourselves… 

Who’s winning?

Who’s winning?

 Yesterday we visited the summer charity event of Janet’s and Sam’s shelter. One of the voluntary dog walkers, who walks shelter dogs with her own dog on Saturday with my husband, noticed the self-harming scars on my arms and asked me: “Who did you fight?” 

“Myself”, I answered. I don’t hide or flaunt my scars.  When I wear short sleeves like yesterday, they are visible.

“Who’s winning?” she asked, and that really made me think. First, self harm is a stress relief for me, so I stop winding up in difficult situations. Second, the pain on my body helps to balance the pain in my soul. Unfortunately, this just helps for a short time.

But this question still goes round and round in my head. Who wins when I am self harming? Don’t I lose?

And this woman is no trained social worker, she didn’t want to trigger a response.


Ten Things of Thankful, Week 24/2018

Ten Things of Thankful, Week 24/2018


Ten Things of Thankful

Now that I am online again I can again join the Ten Things of Thankful community.

  • I am very glad that we are online again, and that all problems concerning our old and the new router could be resolved within days.
  • But I am also very glad that I am still able to spend more time offline without going nuts.
  • My husband jumped on the decluttering bandwagon as well. He pointed out some things we have to get rid off. It will not happen in the next weeks because of other urgent circumstances, but we will get to it eventually.
  • My parents are very happy that they get a big tax refund. I am happy I could help with that.
  • We went to the summer charity of our local shelter. We know many of the people, and it was fun to meet them.
  • We were complimented how well Janet and especially Sam are doing. That’s always good to hear, and we want our furry companions to be happy and have a good life.
  • A big part of the wood that we will burn in winter was delievered yesterday. It will be a lot of work until it is put away in the basement, but we will definitely be warm during the cold months.
  • When asked about the cutting scars on my arms today, I was able to give a funny, but true statement. In the past I always made excuses and said “It was the cats” or something else. But I decided to be honest about it, and this felt better.
  • It’s cherry time! We love to eat fresh cherries, but we can only have them for a few weeks every year.
  • The weather was very nice, not too hot, not too much rain either. Just perfect.


Update on Sam

Update on Sam


It has been a while that I mentioned Sam. This is because making progress takes lots of time for him. But progress DOES happen, and this is what matters.

For a long time, it was a real challenge to take Sam on a walk with other dogs. We had to use a muzzle, and he nearly panicked when other dogs came near him – or even worse – wanted contact with him: Then he yowled, growled or bit.

Every Sunday the shelter organizes a walk. My husband participates with Sam an Janet. Janet is very easy going with other dogs. She is not dominant, but she is always friendly and very clear about what she wants or doesn’t want. What makes her a good teacher for Sam, who grew up without contact to other dogs in a killing station.

On these Sunday walks mostly the same dogs and humans are there. So Sam noticed finally, that nobody wanted to harm him. He calmed down, and we didn’t need the muzzle any longer. Last week all humans agreed to let the dogs play together without a leash on a meadow. And the miracle happened: Sam behaved as if he had done this all the time. He very kindly asked other dogs to play with him, and ran around absolutely carefree. One dog tried to make eye contact with him, he just ignored it.

We couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.

There is still a lot to do, so it is nice when progress is made, and this was a big step!

And when he looks at me like on the picture above, I think we will reach a lot more with him in the future.



Friendly Fill-Ins Week 109

Friendly Fill-Ins Week 109

I again participate in the Friendly Fill-Ins, hosted by Four-Legged Furballs and 15andmeowing So here we go:
1. My favorite Disney character is Thomas O’Malley from “Aristocats”. So clever, and he has a good heart as well. And hey, everybody wants to be a cat, right?
2. If I could stay any age for life, I would choose to be age 25 to 30. I was so strong back then, and I fiercely believed in a good future.
3. Tripping and falling down without getting seriously hurt is my secret talent.
4. Life is like a forest. Full of life, majestic and something new to see everywhere.