First things first…

First things first…

English is not my first language, so please be patient with me and forgive my mistakes. I love the english language and follow english blogs from all over the world, the purpose of this blog is to keep in touch with non-german bloggers. Constructive criticism and feedback are always welcome of course!

Thanks for stopping by,


Ten Things of Thankful, Week 32/2018

Ten Things of Thankful, Week 32/2018

So I proudly join the TToT-community again. Let’s see what I can contribute:

  • I am so thankful the waiting period for my inpatient stay was short.
  • My father says he will pick up my dirty laundry on Thursday, my mother offered to wash it for me, so I don’t have to drive by bus to a laundry. That helps a lot!
  • I visited my parents yesterday and talked about the fact that they will never be grandparents. My mother assured me that they are fine with that, and a huge weight was lifted from my heart.
  • My husband visited me today and brought our dogs with him. This meant so much to me, it meant driving a long way.
  • We had a nice time, walked the dogs and talked.
  • The patients here a so nice, they gave me a warm welcome. Everybody looks out for the others.
  • When I felt very useless and cried, because I am so far away from my pack and can’t help them, a nurse talked to me and reminded me that I am here to get better. And that I can’t help others when I am not well.
  • The staff here really takes care of the patients. We can talk to them nearly anytime.
  • Everything is organized very well in this hospital, so that no time is wasted in helping us to get better. That is a great relief for me, because I want to be well again soon.
  • I am feeling cautiously optimistic, and this surely beats feeling depressed!
A quiet Saturday

A quiet Saturday

During the weekend there are no therapies, and most patients go home. So I visited my parents, who live nearby, for cake and coffee.

My mother home a wonderful Torta Della Nonna for us, and it was delicious.

But most important was that I spoke about an issue that had plagued me for years: That I feel like a failure, because there are not grandparents. They would have been wonderful grandparents.

My mother told me: “I say this from the bottom of my heart: Everything is fine.”

And she meant it. I felt so relieved. I have no idea why I didn’t bring this question up long ago. The answer would have been the same.

A huge weight was lifted off my heart.

Friendly Fill-Ins Week 118

Friendly Fill-Ins Week 118

I again participate in the Friendly Fill-Ins, hosted by Four-Legged Furballs and 15andmeowing So here we go:

1. I am going to learn a lot here in therapy, I hope.

2. I want to be more optimistic and outgoing despite my struggle, but it’s hard.

3. Once in a blue moon, I enjoy a glass of good wine despite my medication. It’s good for the health, after all 😉.

4. I have a large collection of books, most of them in German, but some in English as well. But nowadays I do most of my reading on the internet.



It’s still the first day in the new hospital, and I already found something to think about.

Again I had the impression the staff here takes its time with the patients. And so my nurse told me about the hospital’s philosophy:

Everybody is sailing a sale of emotions. Everybody can suffer shipwreck. If that happens, everybody needs something different to continue sailing: This may be a sail, or a plank.

I am very curious how this individual approach is put into practice here.

On one hand the staff takes its time with the patients, on the other hand they don’t waste it. Before lunch, I had blood and blood pressure taken, talked to a doctor and my therapist, and my nurse had shown me everything and explained a lot.

After lunch I met and talked to the Senior Physician as well. Now I have free timeuntil dinner, and tomorrow therapy starts.



The last days before inpatient treatment are always hard for me.

First, I am very frustrated that I am so bad there is no other option than inpatient treatment – again. And there are so many unknown things ahead. I don’t know what to expect, who I will meet and how I will feel after it.

The hospital called once more and asked if I could come one day earlier. I refused. I have planned what I do and when I do it, and I want to stick to my schedule.

I am quite busy with cleaning and packing now. And I am busy silencing this voice in my head that constantly whispers in my head: “It’s useless, nothing will help you!”

Ten Things of Thankful, Week 32/2018

Ten Things of Thankful, Week 32/2018

So I proudly join the TToT-community again. Let’s see what I can contribute:again. Let’s see what I can contribute:

  • The new hospital called and told me, I can be admitted Thursday. I am glad that there is no long waiting period.
  • They gave me almost a week to prepare everything, and I am glad for that. So my husband will have a clean house and clean clothes 😁.
  • My mother had surgery on her teeth on Friday. Everything went well, but it will take her some weeks to recover fully from this ordeal.
  • My sister in law gave birth to her child. Everybody is alright. That’s a good thing.
  • Had another ice cream yesterday after walking the dogs. It was delicious as well!
  • The shelter dog we take with us every Saturday could be adopted soon. We will miss him, but nothing beats a forever home!
  • Many shelter dogs in our local shelter have been adopted in the last weeks. That’s wonderful news! Maybe a few dogs from South Europe get a chance to be adopted now.
  • The weather cooled down, and everything is easier.
  • Our dog Sam is having a difficult time right now, but that somehow make us love him even more. We feel that he is upset, but he still is very affectionate to us. I am very grateful we have such a strong bond with him. And hopefully everything is back to normal soon.
  • Our cat Jackie enjoys the cooler weather as well. She snuggles up to her humans more often than in the heat. Everybody enjoys this very much!